"You sit on a throne of lies..."

As of late you can hear a variety of quotes being said in our home from scripture to favorite Christmas movies.  This quote from Elf strikes my heart every time, and not in the way of laughter, because I know I've been sitting on a throne of lies.  I've been seeking a greater understanding on the difference of salvation by works (which isn't possible though some believe it to be) and salvation by faith (the only Way of eternal glory), and in that journey I've become the Judge on the Throne of Lies.

Galatians 2:19-21 (MSG)
^19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

The Lord stretched me this year to get out of my comfort zone and boy did I!  He pursued the depths of my heart and I pursued Him.  He revealed to me my unrighteousness and replaced nuggets of head knowledge for heart knowledge, and somewhere along the journey the father of lies used it against me.  I turned from trying to discover the areas of my life that needed to change to trying to change the lives of others... and not in a good way. 

Galatians 1:10 (NASB)
¹⁰ For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

Truth:  We are to obey the Word of God - all of it!

Lie:      If in that quest we begin to seek the approval of the church and follow law, we have lost the meaning of God's grace and sanctification in Christ.

Truth:  There is a difference in head knowledge and heart knowledge.

Lie:      It's your responsibility to discover which knowledge someone else has.

Truth:  We are to build up our brethren in the Word, in prayer and in life.

Lie:      It's your responsibility to determine the areas of their life that require change.

Truth:  We are called to be the church.  To attend, to worship together, to pray together, to serve others, to work, to fight for the Truth, to share the gospel.

Lie:      It's your responsibility to decipher what someone else should be doing and not doing within the church.

So, here I sit as the Judge on the Throne of Lies. It started with Paul.  I LOVE Paul.  He perverted the Truth and then proclaimed it.  He was persecuted and became victorious.  He spoke God's promise and was not afraid of repercussion.  He abandoned everything for Christ!  I want to be Paul.  We're all supposed to be Paul!  I'm such a failure.  This has been my state of mind for sometime... failure.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not just working and serving.  I'm seeking and loving Father for who He is and doing what He calls but I'm also comparing myself to others and consistently feeling like I'm falling short.

Last night I went hunting.  In the quiet stillness I began to converse with God as I often do.  I was looking at the brown grass, leaves, barren trees.  I was freezing and uncomfortable.  I could be doing so many other things at that moment.  Things for Him.  Instead I'm in a field, in total silence, unproductive.  Just then a cardinal perched himself in a cedar across the field.  I was in awe of the vibrantly colored red bird against the gloomy green cedar.  God put that beauty right there, right then, for me.  He said to me, "I love you, Heather.  I love you because you are Heather, not Paul.  I have a plan for you and it is only My right to know it and only your right to discover it.  I want to show you things and grow in you and if you are trying to live up to someone else's life, anyone's life, then you are falling short of who I am calling you to be.  I made you my child.  I made you a wife.  I made you a mother.  Trust me.  Live for My plan FOR YOU."

Galatians 5:25-26 (NLT)
²⁵ Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in following law that I forget that God speaks to us individually.  I criticize others for their love of sports, music, dance, hunting, anything other than complete, total abandonment of everything but Christ.  I think part of this is jealousy, how I would LOVE to be a great speaker, dancer, writer!  And then it hits me...  If God gave us gifts, aren't we use them?  To glorify Him with them?  To enjoy this life just as He designed it for us?  Just because something isn't ministry oriented on the surface, doesn't mean it's not of God!  I can't play football at all but that doesn't mean that God doesn't speak to someone else through the game - hello, Tim Tebow!  http://www.youthministry.com/articles/culture/would-jesus-have-tebowed

I'm not saying a fleshly life is acceptable in the eyes of our Lord.  I'm not condoning a life of worldly pleasures.

Galatians 5:16-23 (CEV)
¹⁶If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires. ¹⁷The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other. They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should. ¹⁸But if you obey the Spirit, the Law of Moses has no control over you.
¹⁹People's desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds. ²⁰They worship idols, practice witchcraft, hate others, and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are ²¹envious. They get drunk, carry on at wild parties, and do other evil things as well. I told you before, and I am telling you again: No one who does these things will share in the blessings of God's kingdom.
²²God's Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, ²³gentle, and self-controlled. There is no law against behaving in any of these ways.

Let's not distort the Truth embedded here.  There is pleasure in life that is not selfish that comes from the Spirit and we should not feel guilty about that.  Moreover, we cannot judge others pleasures according to what God speaks to our heart!  God spoke to me more in the wilderness during three hours last night than He has in the last month of Sunday morning worship.  That doesn't mean that the Pastor isn't doing his job, it means that God needed to speak to me in a time and place that He designed - His terms, not mine!

I will no longer feel like a failure because I don't live up to the pedestal I've put Paul on.  I'll serve in the church and I'll serve my family  I'll be a foreign missionary for Christ and one inside my home. I'll deny myself and live for Him.  I'll sacrifice for Him emotionally, physically, financially AND I'll enjoy the pleasures in life that He gave me because that's why He gave them to me, for me.

The time has come for us to examine ourselves, not each other.  To share the gospel by allowing God's light to shine through our lives in everything we do, not just abiding by law.  To serve one another without strings attached or judgment for those that aren't doing what we are called to do.  To live a life led by the Spirit. 

In the quest to seek His righteousness in your life, have you started seeking approval of man?  Perhaps you are sitting as the Judge on the Throne of Lies, seeking to uncover what you believe are the sins of your brethren? 

Galatians 6:9-16 (MSG)
^9-10So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.
^11-13Now, in these last sentences, I want to emphasize in the bold scrawls of my personal handwriting the immense importance of what I have written to you. These people who are attempting to force the ways of circumcision on you have only one motive: They want an easy way to look good before others, lacking the courage to live by a faith that shares Christ's suffering and death. All their talk about the law is gas. They themselves don't keep the law! And they are highly selective in the laws they do observe. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast of their success in recruiting you to their side. That is contemptible!
^14-16For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can't you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!

Does your Bible get lost Friday - Sunday?

A good portion of people start out as infants in church Wednesday and Sunday, and those are the two primary days for Bible reading.  Then as we get closer to the Lord, we throw in a few extra readings on the weekends when we "have time".  As our relationship progresses and we see a real NEED for the Word, it becomes a part of our daily routine, typically being picked up first thing in the morning (which I recommend - more on that later) or right before bed.  However, we suddenly become "too busy" on the weekends.  Isn't that just the way Satan works?  In every step of our walk with the Lord, there he is, "the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour [1 Peter 5:8]."  Often the scheming father of lies is quite successful in deterring us from the Word and luring us into his den.  A den full of seeds of doubt, discouragement, frustration and everything else unholy.  You know how much better your day is going to go when you're walking hand in hand with the Father! 

So, I've complied a list of the Top Five Ways to Avoid Bible Avoidance.  Here ya go..

5. Put your Bible where you, and everyone else, will see it and don't shut it!  There's something inviting about an open book.  It's enticing!  Each time you see it you remember  a little of what you read last and it makes you wonder what's going to happen next.  Even if you've read it, there's still an element of excitement in moving onto the next chapter.  If walking by the Good Book isn't enough to spark your interest then I'm certain the Holy Spirit will put a tugging on your heart and draw you into His Word... if you allow Him.

4. Pick a new plan.  If the plan you are reading has you in a rut, find something new.  You may need to go back and read your favorite book of the Bible and take a break from your daily plan.  There's no need to continue forcing yourself to read God's Word when there are so many aides to help you understand and LOVE it!

3. Enlist in accountability partner.  This is a tough one.  I'm accountability partners with a few women and it's hard to touch base everyday.  Realize that holding each other accountable may mean a once a week touch base or more or less often.  The point is just to have someone who is saying, "How many times have you read the Word in the last X days?... What did you take from it? ... How is God speaking to you?" 

2. Don't do it alone.  If you are in a family of believers then let them know how important this is to you.  Ask if you can have family quiet time together each morning.  If this isn't possible during the week, see if you can do it on the weekends.  By making it a priority as a family you will be holding each other accountable (see #3) and your relationship with each other, AND the Lord, will flourish!  If you are the only believer in your home, you can set an example to others.  As they see your dedication to the Word, they will begin to wonder about your God and why the Word is so important to you.  You'll be planting seeds my friend, and that's a beautiful thing.

1. Don't eat food until you've consumed the Word of God!  Matthew 4:4 “It is written, ‘ MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.’" This subject alone could hold a laundry list of all the reasons why the Word should be read first thing in the morning.  To keep it short, consuming God's Word first thing gives you scripture to meditate on all day and shows Father your utmost respect by putting Him above all else.

Of course, this is purely my opinion and I hold no judgment if you want to read your Bible morning, noon or night.  Shoot, I hope you're reading it throughout your day and not just once a day!  Know that I'm human, too, and while these are things I do to try to keep our family in the Word each morning, we all fail.  We all have dry seasons and times when we don't pick up the Word OR we do and it's purely because we know we're supposed to even though the want isn't there.  

2 Peter 3:17-18 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness, but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

Happily His,

HJ

Peru Mission Trip: Day 13 and beyond

It's been just over a month since I came home from Peru.  While I've thought of my Peruvian friends often, today has drawn my heart even closer into examination over what happened when I was there....

The travel home is particularly challenging for me emotionally.  God has worked my heart over 10-fold and as I ponder on the wonders he has done in me and for me this trip, I also realize with great certainty that life at home will be even more difficult than before.  Even though I'm quite well at recognizing a spiritual attack and often equipped for combat, something in me says that the war at home will be unlike what I've experienced before.  Now, I have to maintain this dedication to the Lord, seek harder to find those to share the gospel with, understand that my family has not seen what I have seen nor heard what I have heard.  I have to experience American life without giving in to the selfishness, entitlement and pride that once so consumed my heart.  I cry to Father.  I find myself almost in a pre-repentance state.  Father, do not let me falter!  Do not let me be sucked into my old ways!  Continue to consume me like a fire so strong, so high, so wide that it cannot be extinguished!  In the midst of daily life, do not let me lose sight of changes you have made in my heart.  Don't let fall...again....

Guess what?  I fell.  I've found myself going 2-3 days straight without being in the Word.  Then I have a day of repentance, dive face first into His law, and a week or so will pass and I do it again.  Those same sins that I wrestled with Satan over?  Still here.  Over the last year, there are three areas of my life in which I have been weeping, pouring, begging, and pleading with the Lord for a miracle.  I have been obedient!  I've been faithful!  I HAVE faith that He can tell these mountains to move!  I have cast them into the sea myself!  And still... they stay, and HE is silent.  While I continue to see him work through acts of others, that Still Small Voice has faded to the most distant of whispers and I struggle daily with the never ending silence from the One that brought me into deliverance. 

I do find myself being more bold than before.  There are three people in particular that Josh and I have been trying to reach with the Gospel and I see us using less and less fluff with them and really getting into the heart of what it means to follow Christ.  Still... no fruit.  Still... silence.

These are the things He told me about on my way back home.  I'm no longer in a bubble of protection.  I no longer have the silence I grew to love so much as He consumed me in Peru.  I can't sit with him whenever I please.  I can't go, do, and be in the streets all day, everyday, proclaiming the Love He brings.  I have to go, do and be for three children and a husband.  I have to find a way to deny myself, not only in taking up my cross for Him, but for all those who depend on me.  I have to be a rock in this storm and teach my children about all the facets of loving and fearing our Lord.

I know I'm in a valley and what I do in this season is going to change how I handle the next.  And I'm so thankful that this, friends, is just a season!  I can wake up everyday knowing that He still gives me grace.  He still lavishes me with love.  He still holds me while I weep and offers me comfort.  Even though I feel as though I'm sitting in silence with the only One I want to hear from, I still know He Is There.  This is the Power in Christ Jesus.  Life as a follower of Christ is not a constant state of glam and glory, never doing wrong, and achieving perfection and maintaining it.  Life as a follower of Christ is messy!  It's exhausting.  It's beautiful.  It's satisfying.  I know that despite my faults, Jesus Christ died so that I may live.  Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that, "For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." 

We complicate the simplicity of our relationship with Him.  We are saved.  We have eternal life with Him.  It does not require works.  It does not require perfection.  He loves you!  Even in the seasons of silence when it seems that He is so far away because His voice is but a distant whisper... we can rest in the arms of the Lover of our soul knowing that He is STILL here.

Peru Mission Trip: Days 11 & 12

As the planned ministry is on the decline, I find myself extremely ready to be home.  I fight to continue to remember that we still have tracts, we still have The Word, we still have a Story to tell.  I tried to make the most out of every opportunity but, admittedly, I'm so ready to see my family.

We toured the Chan Chan Ruins near Trujillo.  The intricate detail they put into the designs is amazing!

We visted the ocean, which I have seen before, but today it was if the Lord was giving me a gift in allowing me to see it.  So often I see something, think it's beautiful, and then completely dismiss it.  I know I need to take more time to allow Father to amaze me with these beautiful gifts... enjoying His sunset, hugging His children, loving my gift of a husband, and sitting at Father's feet just SOAKING HIM UP!

We also went to the Indian Market in Lima.  I bought too much stuff but only one thing was for myself so I'm not gonna sweat it.  

I continue to spend much time meditating on the Word, His teachings, and in prayer.  A new friend and I got quite the chuckle realizing that we were both very nervous about how we would get along and in the end we were nearly inseparable.  I had the same fears about going with a team that had six teenagers and lo and behold, I fell in love with their awesomeness!  Isn't that how God works?  We think something or do something in our own power and He swoops in and says, "Hey there!  You remember I'm in charge, right?" 

Peru Mission Trip: Day Ten

Last day of planned ministry and it's so bittersweet. 

I continue to be moved at how much these people love each other.  I always find myself surrounded by hugs and kisses and constant physical contact.  They work together in all that they do.  They don't know much about the Bible but they understand exactly what it means to love one another.

God has spoken much to me in this journey.  I think about how many times in God's Word that He spoken to someone on a mountain.  I realize that sometimes we just have to isolate ourselves from all the other noises and voices in order to exalt the voice of the Only One that can guide our lives.  This will take some talent back home.

Luke 14:11 - For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

I'm learning that life isn't about me.  An elementary concept I know.  God has shown me that I am selfish and prideful.  Yet another area in my life needing an overhaul.  Selfishness and Pride are two characteristics that we often don't admit and I believe it is because we can't see through our own "Rose Colored Glasses" to see the real us.  If we aren't first transparent with ourselves, how will we ever be transparent with others?

Luke 14:26 - "If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison--your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple..."

Father has shown me that I should fear Him, exalt Him, have reverence for Him.  I always knew I was a Martha but now I realize that through prayer, He can balance my inner Martha out with a hefty dose of Mary. 

Luke 14:33-34 - 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. 34“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.

“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one.  It's such an easy thought, ask God what He wants you to do.  I heard You, I responded, I came, I sought, I learned, I loved, I grew, I broke, I grew some more.  What's next?  Am I ready for what's next?  Are You sure?

Luke 15:4-7 - 4“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

God rejoices over the one.  Do not lose heart.  One person can lead one person to Christ.  That one person can be a witness to one more person.  That person can tell one more.  It's impossible to count how many people will come to the Lord through a single salvation.  Even more importantly, it's really none of our business.  If we are counting, and keeping track, and pondering on it, and being bothered by it, we aren't giving it to the Lord.  He's not getting the glory.  Father certainly isn't working in us. 

It's time to lose track!  Stop counting!  Stop contemplating!  Stop being consumed by the unknown.  Do you hear me, Heather?  Father is asking for one thing... complete surrender.  Are YOU up for the challenge?

Peru Mission Trip: Day Nine

Day two in Trujillo.  This is community is very different from Huamachuco but I'm loving serving the Lord nonetheless.  Yesterday morning while passing out tracts, we met a woman who was very eager to talk to us and let us love on her child.  She has come to women's ministry the past two days.  While she doesn't have a relationship with the Lord, she does have many questions.

In some ways, I am more encouraged by people like her than those who immediately say, "Yes, I believe!"  Don't misunderstand what I'm saying.  I LOVE those immediate answers, especially when you know the seed was planted before and it's just now being harvested.  However, sometimes it seems as though they don't get it, even though they want to.  This is why it is encouraging when I get the chance to talk with people who are earnestly seeking the truth.  You can see the Lord working in their heart and as their heart is being filled with His love, their mind is being filled with His truth. 

In that aspect, this trip has been very difficult.  We swoop in as Team Jesus and have a dozen or so salvations a day and then leave the village.  The Pastor is often left to shepherd a flock of baby believers, clarify uncertainties, plug them into the church and disciple them. 

When will the body of believers break down the walls of lies that Satan has built?  We are all called to The Great Commission!  And if we are all doing our part in our homes, in our churches, in our communities, then more people will go out into the unreached nations (Acts 1:8).  It's time we turned from our opinion of scripture, left our comfort zones, picked up that cross and surrendered to a life for Him.  I know now that if I'm comfortable, then I'm not in His will.  For if I'm in His will, I'm more than likely A) Being attacked by Satan or B) Feeling Him stretch me and mold me into who He wants me to be. 

Peru Mission Trip: Day Eight

First day of evangelism in Trujillo.  We divided into two teams - one headed for the "beach" church and another for the "dessert" church.  The church names are hard to pronounce and this is an easy way to differentiate.  Plus, one is literally by the ocean and the other might as well be the desert because you see nothing but dirt everywhere. 

I am on the "desert" team.  While passing out tracts this morning, we came to a bodega/woman's home and briefly spoke with her.  She had a pastry case and I begged our translator Marco to let me get SOMETHING.  (Note: As a rule we did not buy anything to eat that wasn't from a store because we didn't know what was safe to consume.)  Marco happily obliged and got himself something, too.  I had a meringue cookie the size of my fist and better tasting than any cookie in America.  Sorry, Mom!  True story!  (Below is a photo that Bethany took.  This cookie was purchased at the bus stop but it the same kind.  My mouth waters!)

Women's ministry went great this afternoon and five women accepted Christ!  Some days I feel slight disappointment that the harvest isn't greater.  Luke reminds me today that God is rejoicing, "In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven't strayed away!"  A sister in the group reminded me that it's our responsibility to allow God to use us as His vessel.  We are ALL called to allow the Holy Spirit to use us to witness to others THEN we remind ourselves that it is HIS responsibility to draw them to Him.  Salvation is in His hands.  Whew, what a load off!

We switched locations for evening worship and our team went to the "ocean" church.  Members of our team gave their testimony and a few sermons were given...you had to be there.  Near the end of the service a Peruvian woman went forward and shared her testimony.  Wow, I love God.  It was clear that He brought us here to listen to this woman.  She spoke about having friends and family that weren't believers.  She had such passion and conviction for their salvation.  I don't recall exactly what she said but it was essentially, "I do not miss a single opportunity to share with them... I take advantage of every minute to tell them of God's love... I must reach them with His Word."  Um, God... who is ministering to whom here? 

Peru Mission Trip: Day Seven



We leave this afternoon for Trujillo.  I'm very nervous after the last bus ride and friends can see it on my face.  What's beautiful is that not only do they see my fear, they respond to it immediately in prayer.  I love this.  At any point in the day, without notice, we drop to our knees giving praise or asking favor for each other.  This is something I must take home.  We must teach our children not to wait for prayer.  Not to say, "I'll pray for you".  We must show them the proper response by STOPPING IMMEDIATELY and going to the Lord.  I love His teaching.  He is such a wonderful Father.

 Before we leave Huamachuco, Carol wanted us to pass out some of the baby hats and blankets from the sewing ministry at Parkview Baptist Church.  We took one of the boxes and walked the streets, handing them out to passerby's.  We came to an intersection and it was clear that we didn't need to go further.  Very quickly, the people started coming to us and we were surrounded with swarm of mothers and fathers begging for hats for their children.  (Note to readers: In case I haven't mentioned it, it is winter time in Peru.  The days are in the 60's but it is much colder in the morning and evening.)  We soon ran out of hats and James and Jana went back to the hotel to get the rest of them.  It was then that we saw God's glory unfold.

Surrounded by people hungry for warmth from hats and blankets, Carol used the opportunity to feed them God's word.  She shared with them her testimony and told them of God's forgiveness, love and salvation.  I stood in awe as a crowd of people who came for a free hat, gladly stood in silence, hanging on every word Carol shared.  Eleven people received Christ!  Eleven people hung around even after receiving their hat, to give us their information so that we can get them plugged into the local church.  I'm in awe of these people.  In awe of my Savior.  In awe of His glory, His power, His plan! 

Peru Mission Trip: Day Six

Today we went to Sausacocha Lake and passed out tracts.  The area was not very big so after we divided into teams, it was difficult not to overlap.  At one point we made the decision to back track over another teams area.  We were asking people if they had received tracts and had a chance to read them.

We spoke with a woman working in front of her home.  The woman told us she did not have a relationship with the Lord and that she had tried to go to church but her husband physically abused her.  He saw a man of the church shake her hand or hug her, I don't recall which, and it angered him.  She continued to share with us the different occasions in which she would try to learn about Jesus and her husband would hurt her.   Being lost himself, he did not understand the difference in her having a relationship with him and having a relationship with the Lord.  With the help of a interesting evangelism cube, Mike began to explain salvation, how sin separates us from God and how we need accept His free gift of  love and forgiveness in order to have eternal peace with Him in Heaven.  Still, she had concerns about her husband and living a life for God and not being able to go to church.  I explained to her that this is a problem even in America.  Quite often the woman draws near to Christ before her husband and as wives, it is our responsibility to pray for our husband's relationship with the Lord.  We shared with her how she could be a witness to her husband of God's love and forgiveness. 

The woman came to Christ and as the Heavens rejoiced, I wept in sadness.   What would her husband do when he found out that despite his best efforts, his wife just received the greatest gift of all - unconditional love from her Lord.  I was thankful for her security in His kingdom but grieved over the possibilities of her immediate future. 

God revealed many things today through woman at the lake.  What a testimony to total abandonment.  Talk about taking up your cross.  Unhindered dedication.  Hunger for Christ.  This sweet woman had no idea that the Lord had used her to minister to me.  I realized today that as women, we often put our husbands before our God.  We wake up to them, we talk to them throughout the day, we divulge our deepest thoughts to them, we share an intimacy with them unmatched with any other on Earth, and sadly... unmatched even compared to our intimacy with the Lord.  God revealed to me that just like this woman, I had placed my husband on a pedestal above Him.  I would never outwardly tell someone that but if you were to take an account of my day, my thoughts, my conversations, my feelings, you would find more of a record of my affection for my husband than for the Lover of my soul.  It's time for change.

Peru Mission Trip: Day Five

Oh how God works!  I spent much time in the Word today as well as in prayer.  Father is teaching me how to work for Him.  He was glorified today!  I felt His presence.  I was overwhelmed with His love.  I was His vessel.  He. Is. So. Awesome!!

I was asked to give the devotional this morning.  I had prepared something else but Father told me to speak on Exacting Discipleship, Luke 9:57-62, and so I did.

 We passed out tracts, held ministry programs and worship service tonight.

 I love their culture.  Everyone is friendly and receptive.  I received hugs and kisses from of the most beautiful people  in the world.  My heart melts.

 A woman at church suffered from a headache.  I believe it was a result of spiritual warfare.  Her daughters are receiving Christ and growing in Him.  I just know she is a big target for the Father of Lies.  We prayed over her and gave her some medicine.  She is heavy on my mind.

Peru Mission Trip: Day Four

I continue to be one of the first ones awake.  This usually isn't a problem but the bedrooms are the only semi-warm place in the hotel and I don't want to wake anyone.  Alas, I get up and throw on my coat and head out to freeze and have quiet time with the Lord.

Transportation to and from the church looks like this:

Ummmm, can we say AWESOME?!  Being squished like a canned Vienna Sausages in the back of a small pick up is a welcomed mode of transportation compared to a double decker bus that makes me want to hurl.  (Thanks to James Purcell for the pic!)

 First day of planned ministry pushed me WAY out of my comfort zone.  Admittedly, while passing out the tracts I felt worthless.  The translators had to do the talking so I merely handed out pieces of paper. 

The women did not want to come to the church so we took the church to them.  We packed up the supplies and bibles and sat ourselves down in the middle of the park.  What a concept! 

Today I was asked to lead Women's Ministry and I was super excited and internally super boastful!  God quickly put me in check as I mentally froze in front of the women and even botched my own testimony.  I know I sounded like a robot.  I'm pretty sure I even told the story wrong even though I was reading it.  I'm reminded that following God's Will can still be a selfish act if we aren't relying on God to lead us day by day, moment by moment.  I'm humbled at this revelation and He's breaking me more each day.  Thank you, Teacher.  Even still, God used my brokenness and filled the women with conviction.  Seven women received Christ!  One woman asked the translator to have me write her a note.  Huh?  I did just that.  I looked up some scriptures in the Spanish bible and wrote my name and "God loves you" in Spanish.  She was grateful.  I'm learning that here, it's the small things.

 This evening we had seven more salvations!  Praise God for all that He has allowed us to witness!!

Peru Mission Trip: Day Three

I had the most amazing banana today!  Never again will I ever look at a banana the same way.  So delish!

Great time in worship with my brothers and sisters at the hotel!  We headed to Tito's for lunch and more fellowship.

A six hour bus ride became seven and a half.  Not good.  Aside from extreme motion sickness (even after the motion sickness patch, Dramamine, and Claritin), I also started having a panic attack.  I cannot describe how awful I felt and the mental torment of not being able to say, "Stop the bus so I can go home!"  Once again, my brothers and sisters surrounded me in love and prayed over me.  It was definitely a humbling moment.  Everything subsided shortly after they prayed and my dear friend gave me something to take the edge off. 

Sometimes the scenery is clearly poor and full of trash and devastation.  Or should I say  our definition of poor.  At other times it's more beautiful than Hawaii.  I know I said that already but it bares saying again.  So BEAUTIFUL!

We saw a llama walking through town.  We are unsure of the conversation but we watched the men look at the llama and look at the car... and look at the llama and look at the car.  Were they trying to fit the llama IN the car?  Or trading the llama FOR the car?  At any rate...

People seem so full of love for one another.  One thing is certain, if they don't know the Father yet, they understand true affection for each other.  Everyone is so friendly, so willing to help each other, and not in a fake kind of help either.  These people genuinely look out for each other.  Who's hearts are hard?

Peru Mission Trip: Day Two

Woke up at 6:30am.  My internal clock does not understand that my children are 4,000 miles away.

I have reached my hand into the toilet no less than 3x's in the last few hours.  Old habits die hard.  Gross.  (Note to readers: You can't flush your toilet paper in Peru.  I kept dropping my TP and having to reach in to pull it out.)

Breakfast at an Italian restaurant.  Took several attempts but the waitress eventually brought some milk.  The coffee is INCREDIBLY strong.  Josh would love it.  Wish he were here.

Walk to the bus stop.  It was very scenic.  The parks are beautiful and yet there is trash all over the streets?  We loaded the bus and left Lima (for a 10 hour ride) headed for Trujillo around noon.  Lunch was served on the bus.  It was a chicken dish of sorts.  I ate it.  The rice pudding was great!  I tried Inka Kola.  It's by Coca Cola but looks like Mt. Dew and tastes like bubble gum.  Odd... but fun!

The drive did a number on me.  So much poverty.  So.  MUCH.  Poverty.  I pray for them.  My heart is breaking.  There are no words.

There are church like buildings the size of small dog houses next to the road.  I'm told that often people are buried at the place of death and these small houses contain food, flowers, and gifts to the deceased, from their loved ones.  They have no concept of Heaven.  They don't understand our God.  They are lost and have so much to gain by knowing Christ.  Lord, use me!

 I just can't get over the wonders of Peru!  One minute you see barren fields, dirt as far as the eye can see, broken boxes of homes.  The next minute you see the most incredible view of the ocean and fields more gorgeous than I have ever seen!  They are bountiful with sugar cane, corn and a variety of things.  I can't help but hear God say, "These are my people.  I have never abandoned them... have you?" 

We were served pound cake and coffee on the bus.  Oh how I love all things white! 

I was able to share with a woman on the bus.  She spoke no English and I no Spanish.  In line for the bathroom she was saying something about the cross I was wearing.  I gave her my testimony (in Spanish) with the plan of salvation.  Once the bus stopped, she came up to me and embraced me.  She kept saying, "Beautiful" and thanking me.  I'm not sure what moved her.  Did she know Christ?  Was she beginning to know Him?  I realize it doesn't matter.  God moved her in some way and used me.  I'm so blessed.

Peru Mission Trip: Day One

Leaving Josh and the kids was rough.  Thankfully the tears quickly subsided as I was comforted by my brothers and sisters with hugs and understanding.  I have no close friends here but no strangers either. 

I found out who I'm "Mom" to!  A little intimidating but super excited to have the privilege of uplifting three awesome women during the trip.

The flight to Atlanta was a breeze.  I greatly enjoyed sitting by two sweet girls who were flying for the first time  Their contagious laughter and excitement was a great distraction and mood lifter.  I thank God that He placed me in their presence.  (Hannah and Nicole - you really did lift my spirits!  Thank you!)

Atlanta to Lima = turbulence.  I did get much reading done and God is already revealing to me areas of my life that need repentance.  What a great start!



Ever Changing

God as we know Him is ever changing so we should expect nothing less than our life to be the same.  Don't misinterpret what I'm saying.  His love is constant but we never reach a level of understanding in which there is no where to go.  Father is constantly revealing pieces of Himself to us and therefore our picture of Him is frequently morphing into something new. 

This is something I have struggled with.  For sometime, I was frustrated that I wasn't close enough to Him to be satisfied with what I knew.  I would see others who seemed to be closer to the Lord and think they had it all figured out.  They heard from Father, they knew everything about Him, and He was on a whole other level with them - so Satan said to me.  Now, I rejoice in knowing that everyday is another opportunity to grow in the Lord, to discover His truth and to act in obedience.  I've come to realize that being in the center of His will is all that matters.  We aren't supposed to reach satisfaction in our relationship with Him because if we did, there would be no where to go but down.

Two years ago the Lord impressed upon my heart that our lives are to be led daily on mission for Him and that we are all called to do our part in the Great Commission (Matt 28:16-20).  Since that time, I have been in a perpetual circle of attacks.  (side note: If that's where you are, check out The Invisible War by Chip Ingram).  I have experienced a season of anger, addiction, pride and judgment towards others.   With each temptation and area of sin, Father brought forth a profound movement of repentance and understanding of His Word.  Thankfully, Father doesn't give us more than we can handle and I have grown, to a new incredible depth, in love with my Savior (James 1:12). 

I'm counting it ALL joy (James 1:2-5) as I leave for Peru in 6 days.  My journey has already been so incredible as The Father has been preparing my heart for the Peruvians and unity with my team.  He has drawn me into His arms and joined me in an intimacy that I could never fathom.  Father has shown me a lesson in letting go and letting Him take complete control.  The other day, my son gave me a big hug and I said, "I love you SO much!"  He turned to me and said, "But Momma, you got to love God just a little bit more, ok?"  That is so true.  Until we remove the walls and surrender to loving God more than anything, we only hurt ourselves and prevent Him from using us in the ways He intended.

Awesome God,

I love you!  Thank you for being merciful, patient and loving!  Let me not take for granted what You are capable of.  Help me to find a balance in loving You and fearing You.  God, remove my fear of life and inhibitions and bring upon me a boldness to proclaim Your goodness.  Take away any reservations or distractions and replace them with a desire to serve only You.  Let these days be long as I enjoy my family before the trip.  Bless our time with one another and help us stay focused on Your calling.  Let us not get hung up on our selfish desires but help us to grow in each other and in you as I prepare to leave.  Continue to remind us that this is Your will and that we are to be obedient even to death for Your glory.  I am happily Yours. Humble me, comfort me, continue to change me.  Amen.